Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
