It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
