I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
