Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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