im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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