you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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