The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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