no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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