Can i not drive my cunt home
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
