hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
