Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
