there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
