i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Your dad touched me again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
