Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
