Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize