Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
