I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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