this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
