Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
