Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
