we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
