I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
