Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
