I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize