For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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