i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This house was built for laser tag.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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