We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize