he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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