My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
