I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
