My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
