I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
