You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
