i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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