What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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