Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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