I think I just saw someone hide a body.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
