Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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