It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize