..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
