let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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