Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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