Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize