I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
