you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I love you.
Bad choice
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
