Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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