Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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