wanna go halves on a baby?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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