Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
