i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Congratulations! We have a period
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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