Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
