I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
COCAINE IS GR8
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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