just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize