I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
