hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
