i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
