i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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